The 10 quarantine anti-gambling commandments
1. Thou shalt not be lining the pockets of ANY online gambling facility that is continuing to cash in during a global crisis from people with no money to spare!
Instead you shall remind yourself of the many other places that the money could come to better use during this difficult time. If surplus money is available, this is a good time to lock them up real good in an account that does not allow short notice withdrawals. If there is a shortage, then you will make sure that you allocate any funds immediately and securely to the place where they need to end up.
2. Thou shalt not waste any time before you block yourself from every.single. opportunity to gamble online. This will be done through a variety of measures but at the very minimum you will use gamstop.co.uk (or your country’s equivalent) to stop all online activities, on all devices you own, and also change banks so that any card you have in your possession carries a gambling block.
You will execute this step whether or not you ‘feel’ like doing it since you recognise that ‘going with the feeling of the day’ has not been a fruitful method so far in conquering your gambling addiction
3. Thou shalt understand once and for all that further gambling will not be a cure for your gambling addiction, and avoiding this fact is only going to be fuelling emotional pain
This is delusion, and also a big part of your addiction. As you recognise this, you also commit to take the first steps to act to protect yourself from the fact that your brain could at any time be possessed by this evil power of gambling thoughts. Whilst taking positive protective steps to push out any opportunity to gamble, you do not berate yourself, call yourself names or in any way engage in demeaning thoughts or acts towards yourself. Instead you subscribe fully to the idea that relying on willpower and self-control alone is a futile quest, since the loss of that control is at the very core of your addiction. Rather than leaking energy feeling terrible about this, you invest that energy into finding acceptance that you are required to take the steps to prevent yourself from falling prey again.
4. Thou shalt not use boredom, loneliness, poverty, loss of routine or any of the other quarantine-related triggers as an excuse to buy into the thought that somehow gambling is the solution to any of those problems.
Instead you will begin to map and recognise what those needs really are, and provided you stick like glue to commandment 1, 2 and 3, this step will enable you to practice safely with new ways of managing these very difficult and triggering mood states. As you recognize what those feelings are it may be wise to remember that they feel particularly intense right now both due to them all happening at once and in a position of high vulnerability, but also because you are possibly for the first time ever in a position where there is no escape from them through other avoidance behaviours (where gambling is one of them). Rather than resenting this fact and ending up feeling even worse, you will use this time to map out those needs and start building a plan for how to actually address those problems long term. When feelings get overwhelming, for now you practice deep breathing, relaxation and present moment awareness until you can rationally identify what is going on inside of yourself and take constructive action.
5. Thou shalt use this extra time wisely; and engage your brain heavily by trying to generate ideas for new hobbies, interests, creative projects and healthier ways to stimulate yourself.
Instead of writing activities off before trying any of them, you will also make a point of actually trying some of the ideas that you come up with. If then they don’t appeal – drop them. If they do- rate them as something worth doing again. With abundance of time, there is no excuse to not spend at least a portion of every day cultivating new interests that will keep you safe from gambling in the long term, plus enrich your life from this point until far beyond the lift of the quarantine.
6. Thou shalt not use the quarantine as an excuse to do destruction to yourself or others .
Times are hard enough, and even if temptations may be running higher than normal- the level of regret, shame and self-directed anger will be equally increased when you realise that this was the last thing in the world that you needed to add to your list of agonies at this point in time. Additionally, you will not believe in thoughts that with sneaky deliberation tries to lead you astray and tell you that gambling somehow could be helpful for anything other than digging yourself a bigger hole to fall into.
7. Thou shalt use this time to get to know yourself and those hidden needs that you have habitually neglected through your preoccupation with gambling.
These needs can be identified through tuning in well with body and mind, doing journalling, or through mindful observation of what you are experiencing. Whilst you will not enjoy this exercise to start with, you can delight in the knowing that this is setting yourself up for real heartfelt happiness in your future life since you commit to no longer neglect yourself ever again.
8. Thou shalt learn to love yourself and accept that what is done, is done
You will neither be using thoughts about past failures to lure you into stupidity in the future, nor will you use negative thinking, worries and fear about your future to derail you from the plans you have made. You will instead be practicing self-acceptance in the little things you do to help yourself and gradually appreciate that you are trying very hard and deserve your own credit and compassion just as much as anybody else does. You recognize fully that without your own love, support and constant encouragement you will always end up going backwards.
9. Thou shalt start each day by setting an intention and making a small routine
As you do so, you might notice reluctance and a sense of laziness set in. Those are to be overcome by setting only small realistic goals that are also layered with the intermittent reward in the form of scheduled enjoyable moments. Such could be connecting with a friend online or on the phone, having a coffee in the sunshine or cooking a nice meal for yourself. They could also be zoning out in front of a movie or watching endless inspirational talks online – but they will not have anything to do with gambling.
10. Thou shalt boost yourself with thoughts of gratitude for what you still have and use perspective to recognize that no matter how crappy things may feel, it could always be even worse
Taking constructive action to list the things that are going well and purposefully dwelling on such (instead of dwelling on the negatives) will overtime result in new healthier ‘mental habits’ that create far more fulfilling mood states and experiences than your gambling ever did.
Annika X