Sunk cost fallacy and other reasons you struggle to cut your losses- and how to overcome them
Many of those of you reading this will have experienced the feeling of shame, disgust and anger when sitting back and reflecting on all the damage your life has incurred by the gambling. You know logically that continuing to gamble isn’t going to fix thing. Even if you were to win the profit simply cannot make up for the damage it already caused- certainly not emotionally. Yet you just cannot seem to let go. The compulsion is unstoppable. It feels as though you cannot drop it until you have had just a few more bets.. spins …or wins.
It feels unbelievable that something that is so clearly hurting you, can be so hard to stay away from.
It is the closest feeling to insanity. After all, how can any self-respecting creature create this much pain for themselves, even after gaining full awareness of the destruction gambling is causing. You battle between your rational self and the emotional part ( i.e. the part that is addicted beyond belief). The part that cannot be recovered by any other means than the act of stopping the compulsion. If only you didn’t feel so powerless and craving to the one activity that you know is like the autobahn to destruction!
In previous posts I have looked at the steps to take when you are trying to quit gambling. Without sounding like a broken record, I just want to mention that the main steps involved in the early days are about cutting access to money and gambling venues. Those are always number one! Without this step, you are pretending to yourself that the gambling lies within voluntary control for you and, at least in part, denying the power of your addiction. I am not saying that there is no way for you to get control over your addiction, or that you don’t have a little control here and there. But let’s just accept that for the most part your control over the gambling has proven to be minimal. You therefore need to act accordingly and make sure that you cannot gamble even in the event of facing a strong urge.
When the first steps are taken, many people get overwhelmed by the powerful craving to go back for more. In theory, this is when cutting losses should be a logical step forward. However, the idea of cutting losses is emotionally far more difficult than it sounds. For those of you who has tried to do this, I have no doubts you will agree. Cutting losses is the equivalent of ‘ghosting’ a partner that you had a love/hate relationship with. It is the obvious solution to get rid of the problem for good. But it isn’t easy. In this post I wanted to discuss the concept of Sunk costs in relation to cutting losses, with a hope of shedding some light and normalizing the difficulties around taking this step. The sunk cost fallacy is a tiny portion of your addiction and certainly getting on top of it is not in itself going to resolve your situation.
Sunk cost fallacy
The sunk cost fallacy is a concept that comes from behavioural economics. It refers to the idea of continuing a behaviour or endeavor as a result of what you have previously invested in terms of resources. (Arkes & Blumer, 1985). The resources could be time, effort and money or something else. In the case of gambling it is at least all of those three! Gambling is far from the only time that us humans fall prey for the sunk cost fallacy. Think about the following few everyday examples:
You bought costly tickets for a trip to the seaside. By the time the trip comes up there is a hurricane and rain. You find yourself unable to accept that the money has gone to waste hence rather than abandoning the trip, you spend time driving down to the house only to sit indoors the entire weekend and ‘suffering through’ , when really it would have been easier and more enjoyable to just stay at home.
A relationship you are part of has been feeling pretty lousy for a while. Each time you are about to break up you remind yourself that you have invested so much time getting to know this person plus ‘what about all the valuable memory you have built together’? . Surely you can’t just break up after all of that. Only each time you picture a future with the person you are yet again back wondering if you should end things.
You order a terrible curry from a restaurant. Despite there being plenty of other left overs that would taste better in your own fridge you force yourself to eat it since it would otherwise feel like a waste. You then spend your night feeling sick and bloated.
In all of the above examples there is difficulty letting go of what has effectively already been ‘spent’ in terms of time/money/effort. Hence, rather than cutting loose from the past and assessing the best use of your time and energy going forward, the past input is used as justification to continue in a direction that causes further problems or unpleasantness. In fact, often time the more time/money/effort that has been invested- the more difficult it gets to let go. In summary, the drive to recover something that we are losing can be so strong that it influences us to make terrible decisions going forward!
So why do people do this?
Some of the reasons us humans fall prey for this error in decision making is that we become emotional (as opposed to logical) when we make the decision. In the context of gambling addiction, the very act of having ‘invested’ so much money, energy and at times also sacrificed other things that would in reality been more meaningful – it may (emotionally) make a bit of sense to keep going until you can win back what you have lost. It would feel soothing to get at least something for all that you put in. The trouble is; you won’t.
From the time you have once established that a behaviour is not generating a good outcome, actually we are much better off letting go of the behaviour and replace it with one that actually helps us going forward
Don’t for a second believe this has anything to do with you being stupid, unable to recognise what you are doing, or anything else derogatory that you may be tempted to tell yourself. It does however mean that your addiction to the behaviour is such, that you are trying to go back and do more in order to achieve a certain feeling, all the while the mind gets busy creating worthwhile excuses for why it makes a bit of sense to do so.
The idea of using the sunk cost fallacy to explain your inability to cut losses may be a bit over-simplified. It does however help us understand this particularly infuriating tendency that can frustrate people endlessly and make problems feel worse and ‘unfixable’. Additionally, understanding how to avoid the sunk cost fallacy can have a number of advantages in life also outside of the gambling. If practiced regularly, you will find that you can more quickly allow yourself to arrive at a logical conclusion and take appropriate and constructive action in situations, even when your feelings are telling you to do the complete opposite. The mind is a an expert at creating attachments to things be it people, behaviours, past experiences etc. Whilst some of them may not cause much harm to cling on to, others unfortunately will. In the context of gambling the inability to let go is often widespread. There may be inability to cut losses to the energy, time and money lost, as well as difficulty letting go and accept that certain relationships are harmed beyond repair, routines that cannot be safely continued and also attachments to previously felt feelings that otherwise inspires to neverending loops of repeated behaviours.
How to overcome the sunk cost fallacy and cut your losses:
Try and think about other times when you have allowed yourself to move forwards rather than allowing yourself to be stuck!
write them down, reflect on them and let them really sink in. Do whatever you need to do to remember how good it feels when you free yourself from past attachments and give yourself permission to move on. First and foremost use them to empower you to repeat this action!
Would I opt in for this situation (in its current state) now if it was offered to me?
This is one of my favourite ways of overcoming the sunk cost fallacy as it forces you to assess the situation for what it actually is in the present (as opposed to viewing it as the product of your hard work, sweat and labour) If the current situation is satisfactory and you can honestly tell yourself that you would choose this situation - then it is OK to keep going. If on the other hand you recognise that the situation has become like that old rugged coat still hanging around in your wardrobe due to guilt that arises when you try to toss it - then it truly is time to let go!
Revisit your track record (previous actual experiences) for a reality check- then balance the books..
The track record is essentially a log book of your previous gambling behaviours, wins and losses. If your track record makes it clear that you are already losing when you are gambling – by which logic are you then thinking that continuing is suddenly going to lead to gains? I say this in almost every post; the chief problem is not that you got it wrong the other times, it is that your control over the behaviour is lost hence you can’t stop whether you win or lose. The net result therefore= loss.
Is there anything more useful that you are missing out on if you continue to do the same thing continuously? Continuing to dig a deeper hole using the same strategy as previously, is going to mean you are missing out on opportunities to go forward and give yourself a fresh start.
If you have already incurred losses, try to recall that the past has already happened. The ‘costs’ (be them emotional, financial, effort etc) cannot be recovered no matter what. Some gamblers would argue and say ‘yes the money may be able to come back if I win’. This could have been true, had it not been that you are dealing with a game largely based on luck; and even when there was once an element of skill, please do recall that you have lost control hence will gamble even if you were to recurperate your losses.
Try to recall a time when cutting your losses really paid off. This could be a relationship with a person that was hurting you, or a meal that you gave yourself permission to bin, despite having cooked it for hours. Can you recognise that it is liberating despite the short term pain and second-guessing that it might involve?
· It may be tempting to allow ego to take charge and to do more of the same type of behaviour, just to be able to get more justification for having made a correct decision. If you really break this down though, what you would notice is that it is perfectly OK to have done wrong before. As long as you can cut loose from the past and allow the learning to adjust your future behaviour.
Last but not least, try and recognise that this error in decision making is very human nature. As humans, we easily attach meaning and emotion to events even at times when doing so is not useful. It is also within our ‘construction’ as humans to be able to let go and move on. This can often be a skill that needs some practice though, and by practicing with the small stuff you can begin to build up to the big situations. Try not to be dissuaded by the initial feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety etc that letting go often produces. Instead- keep your mind on the longer term and trust that the good feelings will ultimately come. Doing this can enable you to take the best possible action based on the current state of the situation.
GOOD LUCK IN YOUR RECOVERY!
ANNIKA X
picture by ‘Selbydate’
